When married couples would visit Elder Sophrony of Essex, and spoke of the problems in their relationship, he typically would hear complaints about one's spouse.
Elder Sophrony would ask: "Who is responsible for the problems in your relationship?"
The reply: "My wife! (or husband)"
Elder Sophrony: "So you aren't responsible at all?"
Response: "I'm also responsible, but the greatest responsibility is with my spouse!"
Elder Sophrony: How much do you think you are responsible, and how much your spouse?"
Response: "90% theirs, 10% mine!"
Elder Sophrony: "You correct the 10% that you say you are responsible for and you will see if the 90% from your spouse remains!"
The holy Elder remarked that the key element in order to maintain a proper relationship between spouses is that everyone should take responsibility for their own mistakes and not shift them all to one another.
(source)
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