"We Should Not Despair Even If We
Sin Many Times", by St. Peter of Damaskos
Even if you are not what you should
be, you should not despair. It is bad enough that you have sinned;
why in addition do you wrong God by regarding Him in your ignorance
as powerless? Is He, who for your sake created the great universe
that you behold, incapable of saving your soul? And if you say that
this fact, as well as His incarnation, only makes your condemnation
worse, then repent; and He will receive your repentance, as He
accepted that of the prodigal son (cf. Luke 15:20) and the prostitute
(cf. Luke 7:37-50). But if repentance is too much for you, and you
sin out of habit even when you do not want to, show humility like the
publican (cf. Luke 18:13): this is enough to ensure your salvation.
For he who sins without repenting, yet does not despair, must of
necessity regard himself as the lowest of creatures, and will not
dare to judge or censure anyone. Rather, he will marvel at God's
compassion, and will be full of gratitude towards his Benefactor, and
so receive many other blessings as well. Even if he is subject to the
devil in that he sins, yet from fear of God he disobeys the enemy
when the latter tries to make him despair. Because of this he has his
portion with God; for he is grateful, gives thanks, is patient, fears
God, does not judge so that he may not be judged. All these are
crucial qualities. It is as St. John Chrysostom says about Gehenna:
it is almost of greater benefit to us than the kingdom of heaven,
since because of it many enter into the kingdom of heaven, while few
enter for the sake of the kingdom itself; and if they do enter it, it
is by virtue of God's compassion. Gehenna pursues us with fear, the
kingdom embraces us with love, and through them both we are saved by
God's grace (Homily On 1 Timothy 15:3).
If those attacked by many passions of
soul and body endure patiently, do not out of negligence surrender
their free will, and do not despair, they are saved. Similarly, he
who has attained the state of dispassion, freedom from fear and
lightness of heart, quickly falls if he does not confess God's grace
continually by not judging anyone. Indeed, should he dare to judge
someone, he makes it evident that in acquiring his wealth he has
relied on his own strength, as St. Maximus states. St. John of
Damascus says that if someone still subject to the passions, and
still bereft of the light of spiritual knowledge, is put in charge of
anyone, he is in great danger; and so is the person who has received
dispassion and spiritual knowledge from God but does not help other
people.
Nothing so benefits the weak as
withdrawal into stillness, or the man subject to the passions and
without spiritual knowledge as obedience combined with stillness. Nor
is there anything better than to know one's own weakness and
ignorance, nor anything worse than not to recognize them. No passion
is so hateful as pride, or as ridiculous as avarice, "the root
of all evils" (1 Tim. 6:10): for those who with great labour
mine silver, and then hide it in the earth again, remain without any
profit. That is why the Lord says, "Do not store up treasures on
earth" (Matt. 6:19); and again: "Where your treasure is,
there will your heart be also" (Matt. 6:21). For the intellect
of man is drawn by longing towards those things with which it
habitually occupies itself, whether these be earthly things, or the
passions, or heavenly and eternal blessings. As St. Basil the Great
says, a persistent habit acquires all the strength of nature (Long
Rules6).
A weak person especially ought to pay
attention to the promptings of his conscience, so that he may free
his soul from all condemnation. Otherwise at the end of his life he
may repent in vain and mourn eternally. The person who cannot endure
for Christ's sake a physical death as Christ did, should at least be
willing to endure death spiritually. Then he will be a martyr with
respect to his conscience, in that he does not submit to the demons
that assail him, or to their purposes, but conquers them, as did the
holy martyrs and the holy fathers. The first were bodily martyrs, the
latter spiritual martyrs. By forcing oneself slightly, one defeats
the enemy; through slight negligence one is filled with darkness and
destroyed.
No comments:
Post a Comment